Radha Ashtami 2024

Radhe, today is your special day, and here I am, feeling worlds apart from you and your divine abode. Since last night, I've been searching through books, hoping to find words that resonate with the depth of your devotion and love. But my heart feels parched, and even the sweetest verses couldn't quench its thirst.

This morning, I opened Ananta Das's Vilapa-kusumanjali, and my eyes fell upon verse 96:

तवैवास्मि तवैवास्मि न जीवामि त्वया विना ।
इति विज्ञाय राधे त्वं नय मां चरणान्तिके ॥

"Oh Radhe, I am yours alone. I am yours alone.
I cannot live without you.
You know this full well, Radhe,
So bring me to your lotus feet."

This verse encapsulates the essence of Vilapa-kusumanjali, distilling all meditations and heartfelt prayers into the simple, profound surrender of "I am yours alone." Radhe, I have no one else. I am solely yours. Life feels empty without you, without the company of those who adore you, and without the joy of serving you. How can I claim to be alive when I'm so far from the sights, sounds, and fragrance of your divine abode?

You know this, Radhe! I cannot be angry with you for not giving me a place at your feet. You've shown me your divine light, but I've hesitated to step fully into it. How can I call this a life when my heart is still tethered to everything but you?

Ananta Dasji explains in his commentary, "Sharanagati (surrender) is the essence of bhajan. Bhajan and sadhan begin and end with sharanagati." I am yours, and I have no other refuge. I lay myself before you—whether you save me or not, whether you grant me a place at your feet or not, I am yours entirely. Ramachandra says, "If anyone sincerely declares, even once, that they are mine, I am theirs eternally."

If Ramachandra can make such a promise, then surely you, Radhe, the very embodiment of Krishna's mercy, cannot turn away from my plea. I trust that you will dissolve my illusions, doubts, ignorance, and all that binds me, leading me to your divine abode where I can be a part of your eternal glories, an extension of your transformative love.

Radhe, you are my only truth. Krishna himself moves at your command, and the power of your love fuels all creation. Maya, the illusory force, is simply your way of testing our devotion, whispering, "Don't love." But true freedom lies in loving you and your beloved. As the scripture says, "Those who surrender unto me can transcend the illusion of Maya."

Surrender means understanding that true nourishment comes only from the source—from you, Radhe. Just as watering the roots sustains the entire tree, or feeding the stomach nourishes the whole body, so too must all love and devotion flow towards you. And yet, I have faltered, thinking there could be any fulfillment outside of complete dedication to you.

On this day, Radhe, I renew my vow to dedicate every moment to you. Though I've offered myself before, it has often been with a shadow of insincerity. Today, I return to the basics, striving to purify my intentions and anchor my existence in the truth of your divine service. You are the sole purpose of my being.

I implore my dear ones, Lata Manjari, Kamala Manjari, Mana Manjari, Rati, Rupa, and Rasa Manjaris, to guide this lost soul to your feet. I am yours, Radhe, now and forever.